


Tavros Gets Fed Up, Falls in Love, and Sings a Song

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 11:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2227479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HSWC Bonus Round 1 fill.</p><p>"Tavros♥Lord English</p><p>Remember when Tavros got so fed up with Vriska's bullshit that he abandoned the pirate ship and flew off to join Lord English, and the two proceeded to take over Paradox Space using the POWER OF LOVE?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tavros Gets Fed Up, Falls in Love, and Sings a Song

"Well, you know what? Uh. You know what, Vriska? F... fuck you, is what! Fuck you and your stupid pirate bullshit. I... I'm taking my, uh, I'm taking my guitar and I'm blowing you! I mean. I'm blowing this place. Nitram... out! Good luck finding another, uh, cabin boy to push around, you... jerk!" Tavros was sick and tired of all of this. Of Vriska pushing him around. Of Vriska being a jerk. Which was the same thing, really. Of Vriska being so close to Meenah. Of Meenah, too! Yeah, fuck Meenah!

And John. That goddamn John Egbert! That stupid no-good lousy ring-obsessed hornless bucktoothed cakefucker, John Egbert! Tavros was done. He was gone. He was out.

"Oh yeah? And how are you leaving? You're on my ship, dumbaaaaaaaass!"

Tavros brought up his ring fingers in Vriska's direction, then switched to his middles. "Fairy magic, uh, you, b...bad troll... bitch... jerk! Nitram out... for real, now. Okay, bye." And he flew away. Was it from fairy magic? Maybe. Was it from being a super dead ghost? Probably. He had fire powers now. That one time. He should probably use those more, come to think of it. He could burn the ship down. But that seemed... pretty unnecessary, really. Plus, some people on the ship were pretty okay. Like Nepeta. Nepeta was pretty great, actually. He should have asked her if she wanted to come along. But he was already pretty far away, and if he turned back around now, it would just be super awkward. He was pretty proud of how he handled everything back there, so... it was probably best to leave things as is, all things considered. He wished he would have told Vriska to stop drawing out her words. She thought it was cool but it made her sound so stupid. Maybe he could go back. Ask Nepeta to come along. And maybe Feferi? Or Sollux? And tell Vriska she sounded really dumb when she did the vowel thing. Light a sick fire under her bony ass. It probably still wasn't worth it. Plus, he was still flying, and he was even further away now. Ugh, forget it.

Tavros figured out he could fly and play guitar after a little while. So, that was pretty neat. The dreambubbles were neat and all, but they got repetitive after a while. Until they didn't, anyway. They soon became cracked and brittle, falling apart into pieces, the landscapes within burnt and turned to rubble. It was... a mess. What could have caused this? What could have done this? This much devastation? Tavros's guitar playing went quiet.

And then he saw him.

He was enormous. A broad, rippling, muscular chest. Strong legs. Well, one leg. The other was an enormous golden pegleg. Tavros could relate. Tavros had done the loss of legs thing. He felt a connection to this man. This... what was he? He wasn't a troll. But he wasn't a human, either. Tavros felt that he was probably important though. After all, he was floating in the middle of space, roaring and shooting bright laser blasts through dreambubbles, rendering them to nothing but ash and char. And... he was beautiful.

The eyes were what drew Tavros in the most though. Like... flickering billiard balls, set into his green skull-like head. Skull. It was just a skull, really. A gorgeous green skull. Tavros flew closer. He was a snappy dresser, too, in a long, flowing green overcoat with brightly flashing trim. Tavros felt pretty ridiculous in his current get-up. But hopefully, the Adonis in front of him wouldn't mind.

"Uh, hello." Tavros gave a small wave, almost losing grip on his guitar.

Lord English whipped around and let out a deafening roar. Who was this insignificant speck in front of him? This gray-skinned little worm? Was he here in a misguided attempt to stop him? To end his reign of destruction? In his little shorts and jaunty cap? The troll boy stuttered, then strummed his guitar.

"Yo, uh, h-hey, Tavros Nitram comin' to light some... uh... sick fires. I... I'm sorry, this is pretty... off-the-cuff. I didn't have time to really make up a stage name or anything. I'm just kind of gonna, uh, you know, freestyle. I hope this is good, though...

"Tavros Nitram, lightin' sick fire,  
Lean in close, like I'm tryin' to conspire,  
Wonder if you have room, hitch my cart to a winner,  
Turn the fires down low like a candlelit dinner.

"I can't really say I know how to wine and to dine,  
But I, uh, I think that you are lookin' mighty fine.  
With your muscles and your chest and your coat debonair,  
You have the page of breath feel like he's walkin' on air...

"And... uh, you know. Not just because I'm in space. Is there air here? I'm dead, so. I'm not really sure. Heh."

Lord English felt his jaw drop, and practically unhinge. As if he were going to shoot off another laser blast. But he didn't. He was just shocked. And... impressed.

"Don't know your name but can I get your number?  
Can I cook you breakfast, maybe after we slumber?  
Oh no, I hope that didn't come off as too forward,  
You've just got me thinking things so incredibly untoward."

Tavros punctuated it with his sauciest eyebrow waggle, which was pretty saucy, truth be told. He thought so anyway. He'd practiced it belowdecks in front of a mirror. Until Vriska caught him and made fun of him.

"I have been with eights and now I want a perfect ten,  
Because how I like my sopor's how I like my men.  
Completely green, and absolutely dreamy,  
You're totally hot... so, uh, let's get... steamy?"

Tavros flubbed the last strum of his guitar and felt his cheeks burn copper beneath the skin. Which was totally possible for a ghost.

"So, uh... hey."

Lord English's jaw unhinged more, and he let out an ear-splitting roar, the very fabric of space rippling around him.

"You, you liked it? Really? Oh, oh wow. Thanks. I... don't think I caught your name though."

The bubbles closest to them shattered with his answer, vaporizing the remains of some unidentifiable corpses.

"Oh, oh wow. Wow. You're Lord English? I heard... I've heard, uh, so much about you. I didn't think I'd actually..." Tavros was swooning and had to stop himself. "I was expecting. Well, never mind. I... wow. D-do you think, uh, maybe I could join up with you? I'd really like to... get to know you..."

Lord English seemed to compress spacetime itself until they were right in front of each other the very matter of existence straining at the impact.

"...Better."

And then they kissed.

All of paradox space fell easy, now that Lord English had a real reason to succeed... a real outlet for his passion. And ahead of him the whole time was Tavros Nitram, singing songs of the coming downfall at the hands of his love. Of their love.


End file.
